reinvent yourself

ha. ha. ha.

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 20:58:36 -0400

30+ hours/week of work.

3 of my 4 classes are AP.

I have to finish and turn a dozen college apps before November.

My family hates me.

My boyfriend is an asshole.

I have not lost any weight since making this blog.

Can I just kill myself now? Please? Lolwait I think I’m already dead.

Fuck everything.

30312) Though I have never been overweight in my life, every time anyone said that I was thin made me push myself harder to be even more thin. I don't think I'm fat or overweight but not thin enough.

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 19:30:03 -0400

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Mon, 26 Sep 2011 23:46:47 -0400

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Mon, 26 Sep 2011 23:46:32 -0400

The saddest I ever get is when I think of friends I've loved and lost.

Wed, 21 Sep 2011 22:52:02 -0400

occulustaurii: Note to self: Focus on your goal. You want it....

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 06:53:57 -0400

occulustaurii:

Note to self: Focus on your goal. You want it. You make it.

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Wed, 14 Sep 2011 09:01:25 -0400

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Tue, 13 Sep 2011 17:47:07 -0400

I have so much to fucking do and I can’t take it anymore i don’t want to have to deal...

Tue, 13 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0400

I have so much to fucking do and I can’t take it anymore i don’t want to have to deal with any of this anymore there is just too much stress in my life and i am so fucking sick of it i need a break i need some sanity i dneed to do something that doesn’t make me want to kill myself i need to drop all of these fcking ap classes and take something simplet aht doesn’t result in six hours of homework a night because ijust ave too much on my plate i have too much to do i have so much to get done by november but i don’t know what i don’t know what college i want to go to i don’t know what i;m going to do i don’t know what i’m going to be i dont know how to pay for iti don’t know and now i have work in addition to school and i’m so fucking sick and tired and i just want to feel better because this is just too much. too much. i missed two days of school because i’m sick with mono and those two days have led to so much work accumulated that it makes me want to kill myself because i don’t have the neergy to do any of this. i don’t have tghe eneegy to even get up so i’m sitting here on my ass gaining weight ad sleeping instead of working out or doing my homework and each day i wake up and i’m still so tired i feel like i didn’t sleep at all and my head is pounding and my stomach hurts because i’m so nauseated that i cant eat but i wouldnt eat even if i wasn’t sick because i’m trying to lose weight and i can’t DO THIS ANYMORE. i don’t want to do this anymore. dont/ wnat to do this. dont want to do this. i want to have a minute for myself. but i dont deserve it. i have too much to do.

and now i’m crying tso fucking hard that there’s no way i can finish my history

fuck everythung. and especially fuck you because you’re not helping me i ask you for help and yu DON’T DO SHIT. all you EVER FUCKING SAY is OKAY HONEY YOU’LL BE FINE but you know what I AM NOT GOING TO BE FINE BECAUSE THERE IS TOO MUCH TO DO AND NOT ENOUGH TIME AND NOT EVEN OF /ME/ TO EVEN DO IT> I am running myself ragged i am using every bit of myself just to get through the day and when i come home exhausted and weak i can’t even sleep because i have fucking loads of homework and just FUCK YOU FUCK ME FUCK EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY LIFE THAT I AM UNSURE ABOUT FUCK COLLEGE FUCK MY WEIGHT FUCK MY HEALTH FUCK EVERYTHING.

is this what its supposed to feel like. am i suppised ti want to kill myself, am i supposed to run on two hours of sleep. no wonder i got mono, my immune system is so fucking compromised from the ack of sleep and the stress and now i’m perpetually tired and achey and sore, inside and out. i hate myself. i just want to quit. i want to stop everything.

0987654321`

`1234567890

i’m done. time to go cut musef. instead of doing history homewrk. yayayayayayayayayge98qgrfopwUEG9 4W7CHQ 48NTVC3 -]12UT[0 tv289y4ghuihvogwehg489[

Reblog if you have ever cut yourself, watched as you burned your own skin, starved yourself, made yourself throw up everything, told yourself you are worthless, or have very been so close to letting that noose tighten around you neck.

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 08:40:51 -0400

"There is this idea of “the slut” which is a mind numbing, blindly fucking monster from hell who..."

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 19:16:22 -0400

“There is this idea of “the slut” which is a mind numbing, blindly fucking monster from hell who wants nothing more than to make every girl’s worst nightmare of stealing their partner come to life. It’s an idea made up in most women’s minds because of insecurities not dealt with head on. She also assumes that because a woman is having sex with more than one person within a short period of time that that woman is somehow not respecting herself. This is straight up offensive to women around the world who have multiple sexual partners, but it is not an unusual stance on the matter. Friends of the past have told me, “Nicole, why don’t you have more self-respect?” But the thing is, I do! I have a lot of it! I have enough self-respect to stick up for my opinions in a public domain, don’t I? And a lot of young women are faced with this argument; that somehow if you have a lot of sex and enjoy it you can’t respect yourself. It’s a lie.”

- The Myth of Being A Slut (via feministdykeslut)

girlcrushin: Audrey Tautou

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:39:13 -0400

girlcrushin:

Audrey Tautou

I want my first tattoo to be symbolic of my self-harm. But I'm not sure what to get.

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:38:03 -0400

omfg those LEGS.

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 19:30:09 -0400

omfg those LEGS.

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Wed, 07 Sep 2011 18:30:47 -0400

I think I have mono... but I don't really care because it's made me lose my appetite, and five pounds.

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 17:54:22 -0400

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Wed, 07 Sep 2011 17:47:39 -0400

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Wed, 07 Sep 2011 13:50:37 -0400

keeep-losing: Wow, hahah I love this so much

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 22:38:39 -0400

keeep-losing:

Wow, hahah I love this so much

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Tue, 06 Sep 2011 22:38:23 -0400